Javi's 5th Month and On Letting Go

I know I mentioned here that I will blog about Javi's first pedia visit but it was Javi's 5th month birthday yesterday so let me blog about that instead.

He's now able to roll over to his right side, and continue on rolling over hehe. He can sit up with assistance. He can stand up with assistance. He giggles like there's no tomorrow. He can blabber on and compete with Miya while talking hehehe. Oh he is such a joy to have in our home! I'm not sure if I've written it here how I worry if I could love him as much as his Ate, but now I find myself having so much love for this little human being I never thought I could give him. Which brings me to a moment I had with him a few days after we took him home from the hospital. I was smothering him with kisses and just playing with him, then it hit me: one day he will marry and leave me. Then I cried. This I was thinking of only a few days after I gave birth to him. And then this weekend I read this article which I got from my FB feed. After the first 3 paragraphs I was crying!

My little brother was married this weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony, with touching words being spoken, promises made, smiles from ear to ear, and new lives beginning.

I kept thinking that even though my brother is 27, I could so easily remember him at 4. The little brother who spent his days fighting super heroes and watching Toy Story was now reading vows to a beautiful bride. The same little boy who used to hide under beds with me, eat grapes with while we watched cartoons, and walk to the bus with me. How does time go by so fast?

It made me think of my own little 4 year old.

I also have a younger brother, although he's not yet getting married I can completely relate to the mother who wrote this. She wrote what I feared all along. 

There’s a fear that I think a lot of mothers with boys have; that boys go off and leave their mothers while daughters stay close. 

And I'm hoping she is right when she said. 

Yet I know there’s a deep love that a son always keeps for his mother. A bond that will always remain, no matter what or where he goes.

Oh Javi, I love you so much, Anak! Let me cherish you while you are still young. Iba pala talaga ang anak na lalaki sa mga Mommy. I can't really pinpoint what it is. I love both my children but I think my love for them is different from the other. 

When Ate Miya Met Javi

23 Sept 2014

Joema fetched Miya from our house to go to the hospital on the night of the 23rd. When Miya got to the hospital I was carrying Javi because I just changed his nappy. Miya didn't want to go near us even if I asked her to hug me. She was naninimbang I think.

Even after I gave Miya the baby's "gift" to her she was still hesitant to come near us. I read somewhere that older children will warm up easier to baby siblings when they receive a gift from the baby. Sort of saying that the older child is special to the eyes of the younger one. 

The gift bag contained pink shorts, a doll dressed as a ballerina and Queen Elsa Magiclip collection doll - all favorites of Miya (pink, ballet and Frozen).

Miya only warmed up to Javi when Joema carried him and I tended to Miya.

Finally warming up to the baby. She's asking things about her baby brother.

By the time her Lola Tess arrived, Miya was her usual madaldal self.

Telling her Lola about Javi's gifts for her

She didn't want to leave when it was time for her to go home.

Laughing with Daddy on something about Javi

Although not instantly, thank God Miya warmed up to her brother. It's been over a month since our newest family member arrived. For me and Joema, it's a little of a struggle on how to balance our time between the two children. We don't want Miya to feel left out when we have to take care of Javi, while we also want to spend as much time with Javi as we did with Miya when she was a newborn. Miya is in love with her brother. I see that she's a protective sibling over the younger one. Although she's also struggling with our time being divided between the two of them. I see that she acts up when no one (not intentionally) is looking at her. She tends to act up and whine when she knows all our attention is with Javi. Although she doesn't verbalize that she's jealous, I don't think she already knows the concept of jealousy, these things are my red flags that she wants our attention. She likes to hug and kiss Javi and to touch him. We have to repeatedly remind her to be gentle with her baby brother as she can be brusko at times heheh. Sometimes I catch her doing it intentionally to get our attention. Haaay! I hope we get the hang of this parenting more than one kid sooner rather than later.

A Letter To My Firstborn

My dearest Miya,

In a matter of days, our family of three will become four. Baby Minion will soon come to our little family. On one hand, I am saddened that you will no longer be our only child. I cherish moments we have together just the two of us. You taught me to be a mother. You have loved me unconditionally despite the mistakes I’ve made with you. They say mothers love unconditionally but I say kids love their mothers unconditionally and we learn from you. I will never forget the first time I held you in my arms. You were crying your lungs out the moment you were out of my womb. It was one of the most unforgettable moments of my life. From then on, you have brought so much joy not only to me but to Daddy as well. We love you so much, Anak!

The past few months have been hard for the two of us. I was always tired and was quite easily upset when you don’t follow your elders. I was always yelling at you when we’re at home together. And for that I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn’t have enough energy to play with you. I am sorry that I didn’t have enough patience to talk to you when you’re throwing a tantrum. I know you have already forgiven me. You always do. You always tell me you love me. You always hug and kiss me. Thank you, Anak!

I’m writing this in my office and I can’t help but cry and excuse myself to the bathroom (or else Mommy’s officemate will think something is wrong with me hehe). I’m getting really emotional thinking about you with the coming of our baby. I’m worried how you will react to Baby Minion when he comes out. We have talked to you a lot about him. But I’m worried how you will now learn how to share Mommy with another baby. Don’t worry because Mommy’s love for you will never diminish. Last night, I woke up with cramps and couldn’t go back to sleep. I held you in my arms while you were sleeping as I haven’t done that in a long time – I have a hard time finding the right position when sleeping. And you have been really understanding to agree to our current set-up, you hug Mommy while sleeping instead of Mommy hugging you.  I love you so much, Anak!

You know I can’t help but cry because Mommy regrets not spending as much time with you these last few months. My excuse is I get tired easily when I’m with you. You are our little energizer bunny, you never run out of energy and I just can’t keep up with you. Mommy needs the rest for the baby as well. So instead of spending time with you, I’d sleep at home or stay longer in the office for some “me” time. I’m sorry, Anak!

When Baby Minion comes out, I promise to spend more time with you. I will be on maternity leave for 12 weeks so we’ll get to spend as much time together the three of us. Don’t worry, Baby Minion will usually be asleep so while he’s asleep we can play as much as we want to. I promise I won’t say no when you ask me to play with you or read something to you.

I love you my dearest Miya!

Miya Daldal: I love you, Mommy

Miya has learned to say 'I love you' on her own. Sometimes she says it in the middle of breastfeeding. But most of the times, she says it when she knows she did something wrong. Like tonight, I reprimanded her because she tore the books that her Lola gave her over the weekend. We stood in the corner and I talked to her. She knows I'm sad because of what she did. I've been teaching her to take care of her things because she tends to destroy her things.  So while nursing she told me, "Sorry Mommy. I love you. Di ko na uulitin yung punit ng books." Anak, I love you too. Please grow up to be a good and obedient daughter. :)

Mother's Day

On Mother's Day, I woke up to this silly girl and my darling husband giving me their Mother's Day cards.

My funny little daughter

I never knew I would love being a mother. Well, there are days that get me tired or frustrated  or sad but look at that face and tell me those days are not worth it. I know I'm not a perfect mother but I try my best to be there for her, to take care of her, to guide her. It is my hope and prayer that she will be a responsible and good human being when she grows up.

Anyway, we then had lunch with my parents at Burgoo. Here are some photos.

Using the colors provided

 

Trace daw nya yung paa nya hahaha. Sorry to the OC moms out there.

With Lola

Playing with the small umbrellas from our shake. "Ambyeya" daw sya kasi mainit haha!

Three generations

 



As long as she likes the food, she eats a lot

 

Group picture with the family



 

After lunch, we treated everyone to blizzard. :)

We let her indulge in ice cream once in a while :)

And then in the afternoon, I had a much-deserved haircut. Finally!!!

 

I hope you Mommies had a wonderful Mother's day as well!

Traveling Mother

I’ve mentioned in passing that I have an upcoming trip in the next few months. Well, the plan has been finalized, we have flights and hotel reservations. We also have our necessary security clearance. See, without divulging too much about where I work, I work for a multilateral organization, a development bank (So please, don’t come to our gate and ask if there’s an opening for a teller!). When I first came here, I was part of the administration side of the bank, mainly we're handling benefits of the staff. So even if I work here, I’m not too familiar with how we are “working” with the rest of the region. But after a few years of working behind the scene, I transferred to operations. That’s when I learned a lot about how the bank worked. How our projects are able to help our developing member countries. 

This is my first “mission”, as we call it here, so I have a few concerns. I have not really sat down and figured out what my concerns are in terms of work related ones but my main concern is leaving my daughter at home, for a minimum of 3 nights. Good thing I was the one who arranged our itinerary, I was able to shorten our trip to 3 whole days (including travel days!). Unfortunately, our schedule will be hectic. After an almost 24 hour flight, we’ll have a 2 hour land trip to the site and hit the ground running with a meeting. That goes on for the next two days of our trip. My flying hours will be longer than my meeting hours. Whew! But as I’ve said, I’m okay with it as long as I can be back to my daughter as soon as possible. 

In our office intranet site, one of the articles posted for mother’s day is about working mothers in our field. I would like to share this article with you here. It’s a long read but worth the read. It gives us insight on how mothers are able to juggle working, travelling and managing the household. This article is written by Shana Montesol Johnson who is a career coach. A profile of her is included after the article.

The article after the cut...

Tips for First Time Mommies

We have a triple baby shower on Sunday for our dear friends. Can you imagine, 3 pregnant women in our group! Amazing! All of them are going to have Dragon Babies! Well, the two mommies already have toddlers while one of them will be a first time mom. So we decided to give her something special on this day. All 4 of us who are already mommies gave 25 tips each to this first time mom. Thought it might be helpful to other moms out there. Here's the list:

From Mommy Janice:

        1)      Take a few days off before your due date and just relax and pamper yourself ---go to the spa and get a massage (kahit different treatments for different days), eat delicious food. So you’ll feel re-energized when you go into labor (very tiring), and when the baby is with you--- start na ng puyatan and pagod J

      2)      When the baby comes out, make the baby latch on you kagad, kahit for a few minutes. Tell your doctor and the nurses there beforehand that you want the baby to latch on you paglabas before they do the tests etc.  This is good to begin milk supply and super bonding kagad kayo.

      3)      Opt for rooming in instead of nursery for bonding time with your baby. They’re used to being sheltered in your womb, continue to give your baby comfort by being with your baby 24/7. Tsaka syempre, good for milk supply as well.

      4)      Don’t use wipes to clean your baby’s poo poo or wee wee for the first few months. Use cotton and water to avoid harsh chemicals and abrasions.

      5)      Always have music in your room/nursery. Babies feel calm when there’s music.   Also, sing to your baby to calm him down.  Always talk to your baby and avoid yelling or shouting in the room (kahit na coming from the tv and not from you). They sense these things kasi and will stress them out.

      6)      Savor the time with your baby even though you feel so tired na. They grow up so fast.

      7)      Don’t feel ‘depressed’ because of change in lifestyle and because of sleepless nights (only 2 hours of sleep at a time). Your body clock will adjust after a few weeks (3-4 weeks).  Also, ask for allan’s help all the time and have alone time for yourself.

      8)      Malunggay and clam soup are good for milk supply. Also, some pastries can be bought online which increase milk supply too http://www.mommytreats.ph/

      9)      Don’t let sick people (with cough or colds or fever, etc) near your baby. Super no-no yun, kahit relatives pa sila. Also, refrain from bringing your baby to crowded places until he has completed his 1^st set of vaccines (around 6-9 months).

      10)   1^st few days will be painful down below pala because of the cut.  I didn’t realize this or read about it, so got surprised to experience the pain.  Although Penny’s ob prescribed to her a stronger pain killer (sakin ponstan lang, dunno why, will ask my ob on my next visit J).  when I would sit down, I would sit on the breastfeeding pillow (u-shaped) , just like a toilet seat bowl 

      11)   I go for attachment parenting… always be there for your baby. Carry him when he needs comfort. Get a sling if you want, it also helps relieve your arm muscles in carrying him. He needs to feel secure at an early age.

      12)   At about 5-6 months (or even earlier so baby will get used to the habit), clean your baby’s gumline/teeth with lampin and water after feeding, especially before bedtime. Even before his teeth appear, this eliminates bacteria buildup.    

      13)   Avoid giving your baby candies or hard/chewy sweets until he’s able to brush his teeth properly.  

      14)   Visit the dentist at 1 year old so he’ll get used to the dentist’s chair and surroundings. Dentist will just talk to him and probably apply fluoride to his teeth. Then go every 6 months afterwards. This makes the baby not scared of the dentist since there’s no pain involved whenever his visits (no cavities yet).

      15)   Don’t buy so many shoes in the first few months. Their feet grow so fast and he doesn’t get to walk yet until he reaches 1 year old.   

      16)   Always talk to your baby, tell him made-up stories, read him books, sing to him. It increases his vocabulary and his imagination.

      17)   Don’t use pillows or comforters in the first few months and don’t let him lie on his stomach… this avoids Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

      18)   Go outside with your baby in the early morning and expose him to morning sun. It provides vitamin D and reduces risk of jaundice in newborns.

      19)   Choose a pedia who takes time to talk to you and your baby, who doesn’t rush you off, who promotes breastfeeding as well, and who gives her cellphone number to you.

      20)   Allow your baby to explore his surroundings.  Don’t get too protective when he starts to crawl and walk, just be always be there looking out for him in case he falls down or bumps into things.  Let him crawl on the floor, let him get dirty once in a while 

      21)   TV ---if you’ll allow him, let him watch videos that you buy (educational would be good or sesame street) instead of tv programs at an early stage. When he gets older, Disney Junior on tv will be ok as well. I recommend My Baby Can Talk video at about 10 months old---increases your baby’s vocabulary through signs/hand gestures.

      22)   Bring your baby to his grandparents, so he’ll get to know them.  Let him play with them.  Set up play dates (with us! J) so he’ll have interaction with other kids as well.

      23)   While still in hospital after giving birth, let the nurses bathe your baby and watch so you’ll learn how to do it.

      24)   Co-sleeping--- advisable to get a sleeper so he’s still beside you when he sleeps, easily accessible when time to breastfeed, but you won’t roll over and squish the baby.

      25)   if you have helper to wash laundry, cloth diapers during the day  (and regular diapers at night) are economical and good for your baby ---soft and no chemicals and environment friendly. Chino Pino brand is good, it’s shaped like a disposable diaper with Velcro, so easy to use.  You’ll use about 10-12 diapers in a day, so huge savings sya. We used cloth diapers on Stefan until he reached about 1.5 yrs old (nung di na kasya). You can buy diaper cover as well to put over the cloth diaper so wee wee wont leak.

From Mommy Penny:

1) Make time for some "me time". a few examples: take a long shower, log on to facebook, SLEEP, read a book, get a haircut..

2) You don't have to follow everyone's advice. every baby is different, what works for one baby doesn't necessarily work for yours.

3) Ask for your pedia's cellphone number

4) Whenever you’re exhausted, just remember: 'Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else's happiness an well-being ahead of your own.'

5) Take lots and lots of pictures of the baby, he will grow up so fast.

6) Stock up on alcohol and hand sanitizers, it's important to keep your hands clean at all times

7) Before going back to work, go shopping for post-maternity clothes. Don't expect to fit into your pre-maternity clothes until after some months. And don't take offense if someone mistakes you for still being pregnant :) it happens to most moms

8) Go to Mothercare for super cute baby outfits! but dont buy too many baby clothes because your baby will outgrow them quickly

9) Download helpful iphone/ipad apps to help you keep track of baby's feeding schedule, vaccines, milestones, etc. One example is Total Baby

10) During your maternity leave it's ok to leave your baby at home once in a while to go out with allan or friends. As long as you have someone you can trust to take care of the baby, don’t feel guilty.

11) Listen to classical music, it helps to calm down baby

12) It's good to be well prepared to help give you the confidence to take care of your baby. Learn the proper way of breastfeeding, giving baby a bath, changing baby's diaper, etc. The nurse at the hospital will teach you the bathing and diaper changing techniques. But for breastfeeding, it's advisable to enroll in a class (or read cris' tips!)

13) Expect to be very sleep deprived the first few weeks as baby will be feeding every 1-3 hours (depending on baby). As much as possible try to sleep whenever baby is sleeping

14) Encourage Allan to also help in taking care of the baby

15) Try skin to skin contact to help soothe baby

16) Limit baby's exposure to crowded public places until he completes the important vaccines. Check with your pedia.

17) Baby boys usually get toys for gifts so limit buying them yourself

18) Learn to trust your maternal instinct

19) Take vitamin c, drink lots of water, wash your hands frequently. Must be extra careful not to get sick.

20) Don’t worry too much about the household chores. Ask help from your relatives/hire a maid to get these done. Your first priority is baby.

21) Read mommy blogs on the internet for ideas and inspiration

22) Spend several times a day just staring, smiling and talking to baby. He loves hearing your voice and seeing your face.

23) Download your favorite tv series so you have something to watch while breastfeeding baby.

24) Buy several breastfeeding-friendly tops for easy access

25) Babies are very sensitive to their environment, try to always stay calm and relaxed whenever you’re around baby

From Mommy Weng:

1. Breastfeed! Breastfeed your baby as long as you can. My professor in college told the class. "Those" were not given by God for anything else but to breastfeed.

2. Talk to your baby even if it seems that he does not understand anything.

3. When he starts (nearly 1 yr old) recognizing objects, read to him books and identify the objects/animals/etc. Next time, ask him to point to the objects. You'll be surprise how retentive his memory. 

4. Get a pedia that explains even the small details. Someone that also answers text messages and calls.

5. When he starts being malikot, make it a habit to put cloth diaper on his back to absorb sweat. 

6. When he starts crawling and rolling over, better to put the bed cushion down. Never mind the bed frame no matter how expensive it is.

7. We've also surrounded the walls with rubber puzzle mats to avoid bumps.

8. Don't cut his nails right away. Press the nail cutter first against his nails, if he does not have a violent reaction then you may go ahead with the cutting.

9. Learn and be brave to give your baby his first bath at home. It will make you very proud as a first time mom.

10. Burp!!! It's important for the baby to burp every after feeding especially when bottle fed. Let him burp in between when bottle feeding if necessary.

11. At night, when the baby is already few months old, use only a lamp. That way, he'll know that it's still night time when he wakes up and he'll go back to sleep again.

12. For his first foods, don't give him those that are too malasa and malinamnam yet. That will make him a pihikan. Gerber is a NO-NO "daw". Cerelac, according to our Pedia, is ok because it is milk based.

13. Don't hesitate to ask questions (even if you think it's silly) from other mommies. That will take away your worries.
14. Teach Allan to change diapers and other stuff. You'll need as much help as possible from him.
15. Enjoy every moment, Ang bilis kasi nila lumaki. You wouldn't want to miss anything.
16. Register in www.babycenter.com. They give week per week advices, baby development, etc.
17. Don't spend on too much clothes (especially shoes) at the same time because they grow very fast.
18. Don't buy things right away if his baptism, birthday, or Christmas is already near. Malay mo may magbigay naman as a gift nung kailangan mo. :)
19. Use the money that the baby will get as a gift to buy important things/matters. In our case, we bought him insurance.
20. Allow yaya or whoever that’s also taking care of the baby to go inside the pedia’s clinic during check ups so she’ll get informed as well.
21. If there are times that you can’t go with your baby during check ups, write your questions for the pedia. Ask the pedia to write also his / her answers.
22. Write all your “bilins” to the yaya in a piece of paper (e.g. dosage of vitamins). I do this especially when my baby is sick and I really have to be in the office.
23. “Down there” will be very painful (in my case it was 2 weeks). Eat papaya or prunes days before and after giving birth to avoid constipation. Wash it with lukewarm water. I also tried washing it with nilagang dahon ng bayabas. I think it helped (but it’s your choice). Bleeding will also take weeks (1 month ata in my case).
24. Always iron his clothes, bib, cloth diapers, etc.
25. Don’t’ buy too expensive toys. Itatapon lang nya yun.


From me:

1. Breastfeeding is natural but it’s not always easy. Persevere in your breastfeeding – it is a mindset. Think milk, milk, milk and the milk will flow.
2. Your milk will come on the 3rd to 5th day after giving birth. So the first few days your baby is drinking your colostrum. When he cries, don't think that he’s still hungry and then give him formula. That's not true. New born babies are not yet hungry when they come out.
3. List, list, list – you’ll find yourself being forgetful after giving birth. 
4. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed when the baby won’t stop crying after you did everything you need to do. Sometimes you’ll find yourself crying, too. Just let it all out and cry with your baby. 
5. Sometimes, too, babies cry just because they want to. They’re not hungry, they’re not wet, they’re not sleepy. They just want to cry.
6. Pump milk weeks before going back to work to build up your milk supply. 
7. When you get back to work, leave a used item of clothing with the baby just so he’ll still smell you and think that you’re around. He will miss your scent when you leave him for work. This way, it will be easier for him to be away from you.
8. If in case the time comes that your baby will prefer the yaya, don’t be jealous and always remember you are the mother. Yaya’s will come and go, but he will always have you.
9. Pray for your baby.
10. Remember: you are first a wife, a mother second. It’s easy to neglect Allan after the baby comes but after you’ve settled, try to set weekly dates to keep the fire burning.
11. If you give birth the normal way through the V, it will be painful to have sex for the first time. I don’t care what your OB says that it’s okay to have sex after 6 weeks. It’s painful hahaha! Use KY jelly *wink wink*
12. It’s the digital age but try to have your baby’s photos printed out – photos or photobooks.
13. Sing to your baby. Sing when he’s fussy, sing while you’re breastfeeding, sing him to sleep, sing to him when he’s awake. It doesn’t matter if you’re out of tune or not, he will remember your voice.
14. Comfort and carry your baby when he cries – don’t care if the old folks tell you dahil masasanay magpabuhat ang baby. That’s not true – comfort your baby whenever he needs you.  
15.  Breastfeed on demand. Don’t count the number of hours in between feeding and the number of minutes per feeding. Breastfeed baby when he’s hungry. This will make you feel like a human cow but it’s definitely worth it.
16. Swaddle your baby. It will keep him feel comforted and sleep better because he will feel like he’s still inside your tummy.
17. Put mittens on your baby so that he will not scratch his face with his fingernails.
18. Diaper rash is usual in babies. Don’t panic! Just use a good diaper rash cream to treat it.
19. On your first menstrual cycle after giving birth, the discharge will be heavier than usual and longer, say a week if your usual is 3 days only. Drink iron supplements during your period. Your first period will be months after giving birth.
20. Breastfeeding is a natural contraceptive especially during the first 6 months if exclusively breastfeeding.
21. Call your pediatrician if you worry about your baby. Don’t be shy to call even if it’s the middle of the night. It’s their job to answer your call. Aside from their cellphone number, get their residential number as well.
22. Give your hubby and baby their own time to bond together.
23. Don’t buy too many toys. You’ll be surprised that your baby will enjoy the most common household items like the remote control.
24. Read to your baby. During the first few months buy soft cloth books that he can play with and bite. Use these until you transition to board books.
25. As working moms, we should not feel guilty that we have to go to work and leave our baby at home. Spend quality time with your baby when you’re at home. Quality trumps quantity.


Hope this helps you, Mommy!


Day 29 of 30 (x2)

Girls Night Out

We had our “unusual” girls nightout last Friday. I say unusual because we don’t really go out, just us girls. We usually meet up together with our husbands and kids, aside from Ja who’s still single.

We should actually do this more often. Ever since I gave birth, I haven’t really had a “me” time. I’m usually attached to my baby as she is still breastfeeding. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy breastfeeding her. But to keep me sane, I also need those times that I have to be away from her. These night outs are the best for that. As they say, happy mommy, happy baby and happy wife, happy life.

We had dinner at Persian Grill

Night cap with some coffee and cake. No booze hahaha!

I miss these times that I get to go out and just have dinner with friends. Although this time around, I keep on looking at my watch and thinking if my baby has fallen asleep already haha. Mother’s instinct kicks in every once in a while. And I think, old age kicks in too. We were all a bit sleep by the time we went our separate ways and this was only past 11pm hahaha. Mommy mode ON.

Day 24 of 30 (x2)

Every Child is A Miracle

I want to share with you this very touching video I've watched thru Chvuaness' blog. Like Ms. Cecil, I'm grateful God did not give me a heavy cross to carry with regards to my child. And like her, I have great admiration for mothers who have kids with special needs.

Watch this video about a mother who dealt with people staring and whispering behind her back about her baby.




 I watched this during lunch time, and I'm so glad no one was here when I watched it. I was crying the whole time!

Day 6 of 30 (x2)

My Mother's Day

My Mother's Day was almost perfect until...Okay let's not start this post with bad vibes.

My Mother's Day started at 12midnight on Saturday/Sunday. We arrived home from a night spent with friends for Joema's brithday. Then Joema gave me flowers, 3 red roses, and asked our daughter to kiss me because it's Mother's Day then he kissed me too. When we wake up the next morning, I got more kisses from them. 

My parents and brother arrived at our place earlier than usual for Sunday lunch. They even brought breakfast for us. After lunch, Joema and I were off to Qiwellness Spa for our massage. Got two vouchers for a 90-minute massage at this spa from DealGrocer. I didn't take photos but the place was decorated with mostly white with clean lines, not the usual Zen-inspired decorations. It's clean and white but not hospital clean and white, if you get my drift. Joema and I were both happy with our massages. We felt so relaxed and mushy after. Then we went to Rockwell to look at Accessory Lab if they have the mother-and-child pendant of Daphne that I've been wanting to have. Unfortunately they don't have it on stock. So we just bought food from there. We bought leche flan and a big fat cheesesteeak from Elbert's and then went home. We went home to our bubbly, happy baby. Thanks to my parents for looking after her. Unfortunately, just after they left bad news came. 

See, our new yaya* (oh yes another yaya woe! did you see that coming?) left on Saturday morning for her day off. Well, days off technically because I allowed her to return the next day. That's fine with me. I'm okay with her taking the Saturday and Sunday off. My condition is she returns on Sunday afternoon. When my parents left, I texted her and asked where she was and if she's already on her way back. I left my phone in our upstairs bedroom so I asked Joema to take a look if she already replied while Miya and I are downstairs. I only heard Joema calling his mother and then he says something like "Ano pang kaso nyan?" Immediately, I knew something was wrong with our yaya. My mother-in-law referred her to me. She was a member of their church - my father-in-law is a pastor. So since she was referred to me by my MIL and she was a church-goer at their church, I did not ask for a barangay clearance. Turned out to be a huge mistake on my side. It turned out that her neighbors went to their barangay and filed a complaint against her because of her debts and a hearing was scheduled on Tuesday (today). I don't know the specifics of the hearing or case. [As of writing this, I have not talked to her face-to-face.] But I called her because I was angry. I was angry because she didn't have the audacity to tell me. She should have told me and not my MIL. I am her employer. She said she was "nahihiya" and embarassed. I told her when she learned of this case because why were we only hearing of it now. She told me she only knew that morning, then why was she telling us just then the day is almost over. She said her daughter borrowed her phone. Her phone that I gave her because I need to communicate with her. I told her never to lent her phone to her daughter again. I was almost crying when I was talking to her out of frustration. I told her "Bakit mo kami ginaganito? Kawawa naman yung anak ko. Alam mo ang nararamdaman ko, nanay ka din. Mother's day pa naman ngayon tapos ginaganito mo kami." I wish there's a yaya complaint center where I can complain like dealfun.com complaints.

To say that I was upset was an understatement. It was Mother's Day but it's kind of ironic that I felt so incompetent as mother on that day. I felt incompetent because I had to rely on others to take care of my child while I work. It was the one of the most hurtful things I've felt. I cried. 

It didn't help that my daughter was feeling extra clingy and a bit fussy that day because she's teething. I got impatient with her,  I turned on her - she got the brunt of my anger. She didn't understand it but I felt so drained, I felt so exhausted that I got impatient with her.  I felt so guilty. Who does that to her child? Apparently, I did. And the more incompetent I felt. It's ironic how it was on Mother's Day that I felt I did not deserve to be honored and celebrated as a mother. 

Day 5 of 30 (x2)

*This is actually our second replacement yaya (not counting the almost yaya)

Lookalikes

I planned on a totally different post for today but I was uploading some of our weekend photos in Facebook earlier and one of Miya's photos caught my eye. I thought she totally looked like me. Well, of course, I already know she looks like me the moment I saw her (ha!) but that photo should convince people who think otherwise. So for the other two (or may three) people who thought Miya looks like Joema, this is for you.

The photo on the right was one of Miya's photo from last weekend

And then I viewed back the album I posted on FB with my childhood photos and look for other photos I can paste side by side with Miya's photos. And I came up with this. See the facial features?

Same eyes, small button nose, tight lips..although I think my ears are bigger!

What do you think?

Day 5 of 30

Miya's First Birthday - HK Style

We’re not the big party kind of family that’s why we opted to celebrate Miya’s birthday by going out of the country. But of course, we cannot not celebrate our first-born’s birthday even in a simple way. The day before her birthday, after watching the Symphony of Lights on our way back to the apartment, we bought a birthday cake from Mrs. Fields – there’s an MTR store near our exit (Exit C – Central Station). I brought the party hats and tarp from Manila. Since we were going to HK Disneyland on her brithday, I thought the natural choice for the theme was Disneyland characters. Problem was I didn’t know we needed a stapler to assemble the party hats. Hence, it was only the three of us who wore the hats. Miya’s was the only one who had a string for her neck. Joema’s and mine were just placed on top of our heads hehehe. Our baby was so happy. She knew it was her special day. She beamed her enchanting smile evertyime we sang “Happy Birthday”.


Photos photos photos!

Good morning, birthday girl!



Putting on her party hat

the Princess with her balloons

Her birthday cake - incidentally not her 1st but her 12th bcoz we celebrated each month

Our little family

Time to blow the cake

With Lolo and Lola

With Ninong holding her birthday cupcake since we didn't let her eat the cake. But she didn't like the cupcake - at first.





Opening her gift

Our happy princess


Anak, you're now one year old. You're now a toddler, no longer a baby. You brought Daddy and me so much happiness. I never knew this kind of happiness exists until I had you. I pray that you grow up to be a good girl. Always keep that smile and bring joy to everyone you meet. I love you so much!

Made for Walking

I have to cut my HK posts to a halt and interrupt with this very important announcement - Miya is now walking! She can stand up  (from sitting down position) by 9 months and started cruising after that. When we tried Gymboree (mid-January which I still have to blog about), she was able to try walking on her own. Although she still falls down because she can't balance herself that much. But yesterday, she was finally able to walk on her own on solid flat ground (at home barefeet)! I was so proud! When our yaya texted me that Miya was awake and "eto naglalakad." I did not think much about it. i just thought they were practicing walking, with the yaya holding her by her hand or by her armpits. Much to my delight, when we got home she showed us she can walk by herself. The happy proud moment was a bit brief as my melancholic husband chimed "Hindi na baby si Miya." But still, this is something I'm really really happy about. I've always thought Miya would have learned to walk earlier if we had a bigger space she can roam around in. So after a week from her first birthday, I'm happy to report she was able to stand on firm ground all by herself. Now yaya's been texting me all day that Miya's been walking around and ang likot daw hahaha! I need to buy those baby proofing stuff!

UPDATED with the video!

Read and Heard

Two very sad news I've read and heard today...

Read:

This news article on a little toddler whose mother died. She thought her Mommy was only sleeping. The toddler, Shylah Silbery, comforted herself with her teddy bear "Possum" and ate cheese, leftover lasagna and milk from the fridge.

Source

Heard:

My former supervisor, who's 4 months pregnant, suffered a miscarriage. Well, that's not the "official statement" but according to a former colleague her waterbag broke and was immediately brought to the pre-labor room of the nearest hospital. Yes, everything happened here in the office. So sad! I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through. Will keep her in my prayers.

****************

Motherhood really changes your perception of the world. Nothing's just a story especially those involving mothers and daughters. It seems like all the mothers and daughters are connected to me now that I'm a mother as well.

Mother's Day

Sorry I haven’t been blogging for a while (not that anyone missed me haha!). As I’ve mentioned in my previous post I just want to experience every little thing my baby does. So I spend most of my time at home with her. I only get to go online when she’s asleep, and I usually just browse different sites because it takes time to make an entry. I used to edit photos but in keeping with less time in front of the PC, I won’t edit the photos from now on and just post them here. I really just want to document the events/things that has happened in the last month or so. So let me start with Joema’s bday and mother’s day.

8 May 2010

Mother's day this year coincided with the hubby's birthday so it was a double celebration for us. My in-laws came to celebrate with us.

Our spread

We were supposed to buy cake and ice cream but because of the sudden downpour (remember, it rained so hard that day?) we decided to go back and just order food from the nearby Chinese restaurant. Hence, the lumpiang shanghai and crispy fried chicken. The spaghetti was brought by my in-laws who came all the way from Bulacan in that bad weather so thank you. I also asked our yaya to cook soup to keep us warm.

It was also the Turkish GP so we of course watched the race. Here’s Miya watching the race with her Dad.


Happy mother’s day to me!


One really will never know certain emotions until you experience it yourself beforehand. I never knew happiness like this before. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy before, but this kind of happiness that motherhood brings is such a different experience altogether. I salute all the mothers in the world (although this is a month late), belated happy mother’s day to all of us!

Missed the Laughing Baby

Yesterday, we went home to a laughing baby girl. I was just sad because she only laughed for a few more minutes after we got home. I wanted to get a video of her laughing but our camera's battery died down on us. Our yaya said it was the first time Miya laughed! She would always smile or giggle but I've never seen her laugh like that. I wanted her to laugh again and again yesterday but she started to get in a bad mood when we got home. Well, she wanted me to feed her apparently which made me feel good in a selfish kind of way. But I really hate missing on those things, missing seeing her milestones, and I miss her everyday! When I thought about it last night, I only get to be with her (awake) in less than 5 hours a day. She wakes up before we leave for work but that's only 30mins max. When we get home, we usually eat dinner immediately so we can play with her. After eating, we play with her a bit then I give her a bath (if it's too hot) or spongebath. Then she gets sleepy and takes a powernap for about 30mins. We get to play again only for a short time and then she gets sleepy again and I rock her back to sleep. Before going back to work, I can make her sleep by putting her in her rocking chair. But nowadays she really wants to be nursed to sleep or rocked (carried) to sleep. I think that's sweet too. So last night, because I felt so bad I put Miya to sleep on our bed (she sleeps in her crib), I nursed her side-lying (I usually stand up, pick her up from her crib and nurse her cradle-hold) and we cradled all through the night. Last night, I said a little prayer to God that I won't get impatient with Miya when she wants to be carried and I'm already sleepy, that I will carry her every time she wants to even if she's so heavy already, but please please let me see her every milestone. I prayed that God will allow me to see every single (small or big) milestone of Miya. Lord, please hear my prayers!

Miya's First Overnighter

I'm a little bit apprehensive to have Miya sleep overnight in other houses even if it were my parents'. I was worried she'll get fussy and cry so much and wake up the neighbors in the middle of the night. But fortunately, my worries were uncalled for. Last Friday we slept at my parents' house since Joema was away for a team building activity in Subic. Miya slept on time the night we were there and she woke up for her usual feedings during the night. All in all it wasn't a traumatic experience for me. I'm so proud of her.

Here she is during breakfast the next day.

First Date (and the Aftermath)

Last night was a milestone for me as a mom. I was able to leave Miya for 4 hours for a dinner and cinema date with the hubby. We usually go out to buy groceries (just me and him, our first date technically after I gave birth was in a small grocery store haha!) but we leave Miya with my parents and not with yaya all alone. It was a dry run of sorts - for me, Miya and our yaya - since I'll be going back to work in two weeks. We had dinner first at Pepper Lunch in Shangri-La Mall. I've missed that place but I think the rice in their servings is not as much as before. When I was pregnant we used to frequent that place because I love their abundant rice. Yum yum!


While eating I kept telling Joema I want to call our yaya but it wouldn't make sense coz I was out of the house for just less than an hour. He told me to just relax and finish eating so I figured, okay I'll wait before the start of the movie because by then it'll be more than an hour already hehe.

After dinner we watched Thor. Well not before I called our yaya. She reported that she already fed Miya and that she also has eaten already. Half-way down the movie, I missed Miya terribly. I can feel the milk ejection reflux while watching the movie. So although the movie was amazing (my favorite scene is when Thor got his hammer back!), I wanted it to finish early for us to go back home already. After the movie, I texted our yaya. She said she fed Miya again and that she's now ready for bed.

When we got home, I was so happy to get back to my baby. She smiled at me when she saw me hehe. But I had to pump milk first because my breasts were so full with milk. So after talking to her for a while, I went back downstairs to ready the breastpump. Our yaya said she just fed her at 8:45pm (that was now a few minutes after 9pm). But Miya was still hungry because she started crying when Joema was holding her already. So I had to go up again to feed her and pump at the same time. I think Miya missed me too! After feeding her, Joema took her from me and I continued pumping milk. After I was done, I had to go back downstairs to clean the bottles and the pump and sterilize them. It took me a while because when I got back to my mag-ama Joema said, "Ang tagal mo, iniintay ka ni Miya." True enough, my daughter who was so sleepy had her eyes half-opened waiting for me (this was already 10pm and she's usually asleep by this time). So I nursed Miya to sleep and it was the happiest feeling in the world - to be back in my baby's arms (or the other way around).