Joema's operation is successful! :) Epoy and I arrived at the hospital last night around seven. Joema was not yet out of the OR then. He was wheeled in back to his room a little before 9pm. But of course before that I met all his Tita's. When we arrived I think two or three of his Tita's are outside his room. Binulungan ko pa si Epoy na 'patay! di ko ata maalala mukha ng nanay ni Joema' hehehe. Last night was only the third time I saw his mom. Imagine that! We've been together for more than 6 years but I've only seen his mom three times. The first and second time was during his mom's and youngest brother's birthday. But that was three or four years ago. His niece who at that time was just a toddler is already 7 years old now and a big girl already when I saw her last night. Ang layo naman kasi sa kanila noh kaya minsan lang talaga ko makapunta. And half of the 6 years that we're together his parents are in the States so there. Anyway, back to my story. Good thing his mom was inside his room and she hugged me when she saw me. In hind sight, I do still remember how his mom looks. I think it went well last night. Joema's mom is really, really nice. I'm just not sure if I'm nice too. I don't know how to deal with them because I don't see them all the time. When his mom hugged me, I think I just tapped my hand in her shoulders. And when his lola left I just shooked her hand instead of the respectful way of making 'mano' - which Epoy did! As if that didn't make me look like Ice Queen. Sheesh! I wasn't a bitch last night but I think I should have done better. I should have talked more with them kaya lang hiya ako e. Pag may comment sila smile lang ako. Haay! But I was genuinely smiling at them naman and sincere naman ako last night when I smiled or said 'thank you'. OMG! What am I thinking?!?! I feel that I'm not good enough for one of them, for Joema. Oh my! I wonder what they think about me. Hopefully, tonight will be better. It should be because Joema will be there and I have more friends with me (haha cheering squad). What have I done? i just turned this post about me. I should be writing about Joema.

Back to my story again, when Joema was wheeled in to his room I did not go to his side immediately. His Tita's and mom where all around him. I waited for some of them to leave before I went to his side and hold his hand. He was shivering from the cold. They said it was because of the anesthesia. Plus he wasn't wearing anything aside from the hospital gown. Good thing his mom brought a comforter. He had a comforter and a blanket to keep him warm but he was still cold. His hand was so cold when I held it. I wanted to hug him but I can't. Hiya na naman ako syempre. I was talking to him - told him that Epoy brought the poker set, that his surgeon is young (to which Epoy quipped that the doctor was newly grad and Joema was his first operation) - and asking him so many questions - was he asleep during the surgery (no, but he fell asleep for a while), what were the doctors talking about during the procedure (they were talking about going abroad), is he still cold (yes) - napagalitan tuloy ako nung nurse dahil bawal daw kausapin. Di na din kami nagtagal dahil bawal naman pala kausapin ang pasyente. I kissed him before we left (hindi na ko nahiya) then said our goodbyes to his mom, brother, tita and cousins who were left.

Last night I felt this overwhelming feeling - overwhelming love for this person whom I only knew existed not more than 6 years ago. And I felt grateful that God gave me someone to love so much, grateful that I know this kind of feeling, grateful that I'm experiencing this kind of love.