My Mother's Day

My Mother's Day was almost perfect until...Okay let's not start this post with bad vibes.

My Mother's Day started at 12midnight on Saturday/Sunday. We arrived home from a night spent with friends for Joema's brithday. Then Joema gave me flowers, 3 red roses, and asked our daughter to kiss me because it's Mother's Day then he kissed me too. When we wake up the next morning, I got more kisses from them. 

My parents and brother arrived at our place earlier than usual for Sunday lunch. They even brought breakfast for us. After lunch, Joema and I were off to Qiwellness Spa for our massage. Got two vouchers for a 90-minute massage at this spa from DealGrocer. I didn't take photos but the place was decorated with mostly white with clean lines, not the usual Zen-inspired decorations. It's clean and white but not hospital clean and white, if you get my drift. Joema and I were both happy with our massages. We felt so relaxed and mushy after. Then we went to Rockwell to look at Accessory Lab if they have the mother-and-child pendant of Daphne that I've been wanting to have. Unfortunately they don't have it on stock. So we just bought food from there. We bought leche flan and a big fat cheesesteeak from Elbert's and then went home. We went home to our bubbly, happy baby. Thanks to my parents for looking after her. Unfortunately, just after they left bad news came. 

See, our new yaya* (oh yes another yaya woe! did you see that coming?) left on Saturday morning for her day off. Well, days off technically because I allowed her to return the next day. That's fine with me. I'm okay with her taking the Saturday and Sunday off. My condition is she returns on Sunday afternoon. When my parents left, I texted her and asked where she was and if she's already on her way back. I left my phone in our upstairs bedroom so I asked Joema to take a look if she already replied while Miya and I are downstairs. I only heard Joema calling his mother and then he says something like "Ano pang kaso nyan?" Immediately, I knew something was wrong with our yaya. My mother-in-law referred her to me. She was a member of their church - my father-in-law is a pastor. So since she was referred to me by my MIL and she was a church-goer at their church, I did not ask for a barangay clearance. Turned out to be a huge mistake on my side. It turned out that her neighbors went to their barangay and filed a complaint against her because of her debts and a hearing was scheduled on Tuesday (today). I don't know the specifics of the hearing or case. [As of writing this, I have not talked to her face-to-face.] But I called her because I was angry. I was angry because she didn't have the audacity to tell me. She should have told me and not my MIL. I am her employer. She said she was "nahihiya" and embarassed. I told her when she learned of this case because why were we only hearing of it now. She told me she only knew that morning, then why was she telling us just then the day is almost over. She said her daughter borrowed her phone. Her phone that I gave her because I need to communicate with her. I told her never to lent her phone to her daughter again. I was almost crying when I was talking to her out of frustration. I told her "Bakit mo kami ginaganito? Kawawa naman yung anak ko. Alam mo ang nararamdaman ko, nanay ka din. Mother's day pa naman ngayon tapos ginaganito mo kami." I wish there's a yaya complaint center where I can complain like dealfun.com complaints.

To say that I was upset was an understatement. It was Mother's Day but it's kind of ironic that I felt so incompetent as mother on that day. I felt incompetent because I had to rely on others to take care of my child while I work. It was the one of the most hurtful things I've felt. I cried. 

It didn't help that my daughter was feeling extra clingy and a bit fussy that day because she's teething. I got impatient with her,  I turned on her - she got the brunt of my anger. She didn't understand it but I felt so drained, I felt so exhausted that I got impatient with her.  I felt so guilty. Who does that to her child? Apparently, I did. And the more incompetent I felt. It's ironic how it was on Mother's Day that I felt I did not deserve to be honored and celebrated as a mother. 

Day 5 of 30 (x2)

*This is actually our second replacement yaya (not counting the almost yaya)