Two Wednesday (27 November) nights ago, I realized that Miya didn’t nurse the whole day. And then I realized I don’t even remember the last time she nursed from me. It’s only until now that I’m writing this that I feel a bit melancholy about the whole weaning thing. It was me who initiated to wean – mother-led weaning. It just became too much for me after we came back from our HK vacation (which I have yet to blog about). Miya wanted to nurse even when we were at the park even if I told her she can only nurse when we’re at the hotel. The last straw was on our flight home. On our flight out from Hong Kong when the plane took off, Miya wanted to nurse so I let her. Unfortunately, she also pooped in her diaper the moment we lined up to board. I didn’t have time to change her nappy before take-off. And since she’s nursing during take-off she started to drift off to sleep, so I kind of nudge her every once in a while and told her not to sleep because we need to change her nappy once the seat-belt sign is turned off. But she fell asleep. The moment the seat-belt sign was off, I took her to the lavatory to change her. I thought she won’t wake up because she’s too sleepy (we took the first flight out of HK to Manila early in the morning). But she woke up while I changed her nappy. Afterwards. she did not sleep the entire flight. I thought I could get some shut-eye because I was exhausted from our trip. My parents went along with us but Miya’s at this stage when she wants to be with me every waking hour even though my mother was there to help me out. While trying to sleep, Miya went back to me and wanted to sleep on my lap and play with me. And then I broke down, I started crying maybe because of exhaustion, maybe because of frustration, maybe because of PMS (I got my period on the day we left HK). I’m not sure why but I felt awful! I felt guilty! I felt ashamed!
On the plane ride home, I told Miya she won’t nurse from me anymore when we get back to Manila because she’s already a big girl. And that’s what we did. We started reading Maggie’s Weaning again. And whenever she wants to nurse, I only tell her she can do so for 10 counts on each breast. She only nurses during night time and when she wakes up because that’s the time when we’re together during weekends. And all the time I count 1-to-10 everytime she nurses. She’s agreeable to this. I think it’s really because she’s also ready to wean. She nurses for comfort and not really for nourishment anymore because she eats whatever we eat. So I told her I can kiss her and hug her whenever she wants to nurse. And then that Wednesday came or the day before that or whatever day it was that she did stop nursing. Although there are still some slips when she asks to nurse, only I tell her she’s big now and doesn’t need to, she doesn’t insist. Yesterday morning she woke up and saw me changing and saw my breasts. I thought she wanted to nurse again but when I told her not to, she started playing with my breasts instead hahaha (sorry if this is TMI for you – that’s what breastfed babies do).
|From my phone, her last photo breastfeeding taken in July 2013|