Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Javi's 5th Month and On Letting Go

I know I mentioned here that I will blog about Javi's first pedia visit but it was Javi's 5th month birthday yesterday so let me blog about that instead.

He's now able to roll over to his right side, and continue on rolling over hehe. He can sit up with assistance. He can stand up with assistance. He giggles like there's no tomorrow. He can blabber on and compete with Miya while talking hehehe. Oh he is such a joy to have in our home! I'm not sure if I've written it here how I worry if I could love him as much as his Ate, but now I find myself having so much love for this little human being I never thought I could give him. Which brings me to a moment I had with him a few days after we took him home from the hospital. I was smothering him with kisses and just playing with him, then it hit me: one day he will marry and leave me. Then I cried. This I was thinking of only a few days after I gave birth to him. And then this weekend I read this article which I got from my FB feed. After the first 3 paragraphs I was crying!

My little brother was married this weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony, with touching words being spoken, promises made, smiles from ear to ear, and new lives beginning.
I kept thinking that even though my brother is 27, I could so easily remember him at 4. The little brother who spent his days fighting super heroes and watching Toy Story was now reading vows to a beautiful bride. The same little boy who used to hide under beds with me, eat grapes with while we watched cartoons, and walk to the bus with me. How does time go by so fast?
It made me think of my own little 4 year old.
I also have a younger brother, although he's not yet getting married I can completely relate to the mother who wrote this. She wrote what I feared all along. 
There’s a fear that I think a lot of mothers with boys have; that boys go off and leave their mothers while daughters stay close. 
And I'm hoping she is right when she said. 
Yet I know there’s a deep love that a son always keeps for his mother. A bond that will always remain, no matter what or where he goes.
Oh Javi, I love you so much, Anak! Let me cherish you while you are still young. Iba pala talaga ang anak na lalaki sa mga Mommy. I can't really pinpoint what it is. I love both my children but I think my love for them is different from the other. 

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